Whit's Birth Plan
Plan A: Adopt so I don’t get fat, my hips don’t expand and I don’t get stretch marks.
If for some reason my choice of contraceptives fails me and I become pregnant, the following should be done for me as long as I am not a high risk patient and my fetus is healthy.
Plan B
1. Do not take me to the hospital until my water has broken. I want spontaneous ruptured membranes.
2. Do not give me Pitocin prior to the delivery of my baby. My body will release Oxytocin and things will progress naturally as they should.
3. Do not give me an epidural. In my opinion, it is an unnecessary risk and intervention. Also, don’t give me narcotics during labor. It crosses the placenta, and I’m not comfortable with that. If it was just me going through the labor process, I would gladly accept pain medication; however, it is no longer all about me.
4. Do not perform an unnecessary cesarean section on me. It is a major surgery with serious risks that I’m not going to take unless there is an emergency situation. My child is coming on its own schedule, not yours. This is not always a convenient process.
5. Do not forcefully stretch my perineum in an effort to force my child to come out of the birth canal. Have patience.
5. Do not give me an unnecessary episiotomy. Again, have patience.
6. Do not yank my placenta out unless it has been an hour post delivery. Children require patience, and it all starts with the birthing process.
7. Provide a tummy tuck as well as a reshaping of the abdominal region. Yes, there is a risk, but the risk is to me and not to my child. I will be a much better mom if I do not have an overhanging muffin top. Without the tummy tuck and reshaping of the abdomen, I will be at an increased risk of severe post-partum depression.
* Notice this is my birth plan. It is perfectly acceptable and within your rights to have a different one. I am also aware that even the best of plans do not always work out as intended. It is important to remember the ultimate goal which is to have a healthy and safe delivery!