Brain Pain
Subjective Data:
Name: Whitney
Address: Baltimore
Sex: Female
Race: Caucasian and very pasty. Pt. Denies being able to go outside for any sun exposure.
Dependents: None. Pt. states, “Thank goodness. I wouldn’t have time to even feed them.”
Contact Person: God. He’s the only one that can help!
-
Source and Reliability: Whitney, the pt., is reliable.
-
Chief Complaint: “My brain hurts.”
-
History of Present Illness (HPI):
Pt. first began noticing brain pain at the beginning of September in 2009 when school started. Beginning in September of 2009, pt. noted sleeplessness, increased anxiety, irritability and a decrease in concentration. Pt. eats well balanced meals, gets regular exercise 5-6 days/week, and recently tried a YOGA class in an effort to relax and relieve stress.
-
Past Medical History (PMH):
General State of Health: “I could be a Navy Seal I’m so healthy.”
Major Childhood Illnesses: None
Current Health Status:
Allergies: Tests (Hives), Homework (Hives), and especially Research (Anaphylactic Shock).
Immunizations: Up-to-date.
Exercise and Leisure: bike/run/walk/swim 5-6/week
Current Medications: None
-
Personal Habits:
Tobacco: None
Alcohol: 1-2/week with friends (pt. is above 21 and does not drink and drive!)
Caffeine: Continuous IV infusion
Illegal Drugs: None
Diet and Nutrition: A variety of Whole Food specials and School of Nursing Me Latte items. Pt. states, “I don’t have time to cook.”
-
Primary Care Provider:
Dr. George Clooney and Dr. Pierce Brosnan
-
Family History:
We are all a little special.
-
Me:
Doc, just tell me what’s wrong already. I have work to do. Let’s skip the objective/review of systems (ROS) part. I thought Electronic Medical Records (EMR) were supposed to be faster and more efficient.
Doc:
Well, Whit it seems you have nursing schoolinflamatitis related to course work. Brain pain is a classic sign for schoolinflamatitis. I see it all the time. Very common. I recommend that you take the weekend off from studying and give me a call next week.
Me:
Are you going to charge $1,000 for that diagnosis? If you are, you better give the fabulous nurses a raise!