Arts Based Anti-Violence Program

An Arts-Based Initiative for the Prevention of Violence Against Women and Girls

Project Funded by Centers for Disease Control and Prevention 10/00 – 9/05(US4/CCU319009-01)

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SIGNS OF A POTENTIALLY ABUSIVE BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND

They Come on Too Strong

	loves you instantly
	wants to see you all the time

They have Traditional Roles for Men and Women

	women should stay home
	women should take care of the husband
	women should follow orders
	man controls the household

They Believe Using Force or Violence Will Solve Problems

	overreacts to little problems
	throwing things
	punching walls
	cruelty towards animals

They Think Poorly of Themselves

	people who abuse often are insecure and have low self-esteem
	they will act tough to cover up these feelings

They are Jealous

	keeps tabs on you, want to know where you are at all times
	not only jealous of other men or women, but of your friends and family

They are Self-Centered

	only concern with their needs
	does not take your opinion seriously
	likes giving orders

They have Extreme Highs and Extreme Lows in their Mood

switches from charm to anger without warning

They are a Product of a Violent Family

grow up believing violence is normal, acceptable behavior

They Blame Others When Things Do Not Work Out

	hold others responsible for their behavior and feelings
	will often blame you when they feel angry or sad
	been abusive in another relationship, but it was her/his fault, provoked, led, deserved or made me do it-you don’t act that way

They Behave Badly Towards Others

	observe how they function with the rest of the world, even if they are kind to you
	do they have a history of losing their temper quickly
	do they brag about mistreating others

They Treat You Roughly at Times

	even “playful” wrestling or throwing you in the pool for “fun” when you do not want to be thrown in. They may say “you have no sense of humor”. Does he/she twist your arm behind your back or hurt you in other ways to prove a point? If these actions frightened you or you have been hurt this may indicate your partner has an abusive nature.
	do not think marriage will change him/her for the better

They Make You Feel Scared or Threatened

	are you afraid to break up because he/she might hurt you?
	do you change your life around to keep form making him/her upset?

If your partner has two are more of these signs you are at a risk of being abused. Please seek help. You can call The House of Ruth's Teen Program at 410-554-8466.

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